A Time for Sorrows
by Fierce N Feisty
Summary: Soon after A New Hope, Leia must deal with the death of her father and the destruction of her home planet.


Prologue

**Title: **A Time for Sorrows 

**Author: **Fierce N Feisty

**Description: **Soon after _A New Hope_, Leia must deal with the death of her father and the destruction of her home planet.

**Disclaimer: **GL and Co. owns all characters, locations, and dialogue from _A New Hope_.I have merely attempted to fill in the blanks.No money was made from the following story.

** ** **Prologue**

**(From _A New Hope_)**

Willard: "You're safe.We had feared the worst.When we heard about Alderaan, we were afraid that you were…lost along with your father.

Leia: "We don't have time for our sorrows, Commander…"

A Time for Sorrows 

The inky blackness of space stretched out beyond the ship's viewport – a stark contrast to the millions of stars that blazed brilliantly in varying hues of blue, white, and gold.Each star had a name, a place in the galaxy.Many had planets or entire solar systems orbiting the glowing spheres.Those solar systems had life – species of all kinds.Species with languages, customs, ways of life sacred to them since the dawn of time.Species that would willingly lay down their lives to protect those customs.Species that would do just that, much sooner than they had ever anticipated.

A lone figure stood transfixed in front of the viewport – a small entity against the vast panorama beyond her.Her head was held high, her shoulders squared, her hands fixed firmly at her sides.A look of solemn silence stole over her beautiful face – thin lips set in a line, dark brown eyes full of determination.She wore a gown of simple white fabric, belted at the waist and falling well past her knees.Her hair – long, silky chestnut tresses – was pulled behind her ears and tucked into a simple knot at the nape of her neck.A few whips of hair had come loose around her forehead and cheekbones, but she did not seem to notice or care.All of her attention, every one of her thoughts, was directed at the world in front of her.She seemed to be lost among the stars…

"Leia."The young woman started at the sound.She turned her head slightly to see who called her name.

"Father."She smiled at the older man standing in the doorway.He moved closer to her, and the patchy light from the bridge sent a mottled, golden glow over the features she knew so well.Time had gradually turned his dark hair to shades of gray and silver, and wrinkles had crept insistently along the creases of his forehead and the corners of his eyes.But even age could not hide the fact that he was an attractive man.Warm brown eyes and a soft smile served to enhance the distinguished face, washing a sense of calm serenity over his entire being.

"I thought I might find you here."

She turned back to the viewport and sighed heavily.It was the sigh of someone much older than her nineteen years."Everything looks so much more peaceful from out here," she commented."It's hard to believe that out there, a fierce battle for freedom is being waged."

Bail Organa turned his gaze to the stars."Things do seem much simpler when your perspective is expanded."

They were both silent for several minutes, each lost in their own thoughts.After awhile, Leia turned to him."You're leaving?" she inquired.

He nodded."I came to say goodbye."He paused slightly."Are you sure about this, Leia?I could still go with you…"

"You are needed on Alderaan," she interrupted gently."With the Emperor taking more and more control away from the local governments, the council will be looking to you to help maintain order."She laid a hand on his shoulder."Not to mention the fact that the Imperial governors will grow suspicious if we both continue our 'diplomatic missions' away from home.My absence from Alderaan may be easily overlooked or explained.But you, my dear father, will certainly be missed before long."

Bail nodded his acquiescence, knowing she was right."Please be careful, Leia."In his eyes, he wore a heaviness.It was more than simply the overprotectiveness of a father.It was the grave anxiety of one who had seen enough turmoil and violence to effectively erase any trace of idealism."The rumors are increasing every day.It won't be long now before Palpatine drops all pretense of maintaining a republic.When that happens, and the Senate is disbanded, none of us will be safe.Even diplomatic immunity will mean nothing…"

She nodded soberly."This is why I must leave for Tatooine now, before the government completely falls apart.If this Obi-Wan Kenobi is as important as you say, then he will be vital to the success of the Rebellion."

"Indeed," he agreed."_If_ he still exists."

Leia smiled confidently."If he does, than I _will_ find him and enlist his help."

Bail returned his daughter's smile."I have no doubts of _that_."

She reached to give him a hug."I will return to Alderaan very soon," she promised.She impulsively planted a quick kiss on his cheek, as she had done many times before as a child."I love you, father."

"I love you too, Leia…I love you, too…"

The words faded slowly, then drifted away.Leia started suddenly from her reverie.She looked around, and was surprised to find that she was alone.Only the darkness of space and the twinkling of the stars beyond the viewport kept her company.

Then it hit her, with a force so strong that it nearly snatched the very breath from her body.Her father was dead, murdered along with millions of others.Her planet was gone, ruthlessly destroyed by a merciless Empire.Everything that she had known since childhood, everything that was comforting to her, everything that she so deeply loved and cherished, was gone forever.

Leia buried her face in her hands, trying to fight back the emotions.He still felt so real to her, so alive.It was as if he was standing just outside her vision, and if she turned quickly enough, he would be there.The last few days felt illusory, like some horrible, never-ending nightmare.If she just kept hoping, just waited long enough, then she would wake up, and everything would be just as it should be.She would be free from this pain, this ache in her heart, this sense that the death of her father and the destruction of her home was all her fault…

***

Leia was facing death.The sentence for her execution had been issued and signed by the hands of her enemies.It was only a matter of time now, before it was all over…

She was surprised to find that she was not afraid – sad for the people who were counting on her, frustrated by her own failure to complete her mission, heartbroken for her father who would lose his only child – but not afraid.

Her death would not deter her compatriots from further action against the Empire, that she was sure of.The executions of other prominent Rebel leaders in the past had only served to feed the movement, eliciting help from those worlds who had previously avoided conflict out of fear and indifference.That her death would bring the results her life's work had failed to do – this was what gave Leia the strength to face what lay ahead.

The door to her cell slid open, and two armed guards appeared to take her away.Refusing to let them see any weakness, Leia held her head proudly and jutted her chin in defiance.She did not struggle when they roughly grabbed her by both wrists and slapped binder cuffs into place, nor did she resist when they shoved her out of the cell and down the corridor.Instead, she walked regally, as tall and portentous as if she were at court in Alderaan.If they expected her to break down and give in to panic and fear, then they would be sorely disappointed.

Much to Leia's surprise, the guards brought her to the forward bridge, rather than the execution chamber.Gathered around were various military leaders of the Empire, some of whom she recognized from her political circuits before the war.They wore the dark green and black uniforms of their high rank haughtily, and watched her with both arrogance and contempt in their dark, fierce eyes.Two men stood aside from the rest, hard to miss among their inferiors.The first was Governor Tarkin, dressed in spotless gray military garb and wearing a look of malevolent anticipation on his gaunt face.He was nearly dwarfed by the second man standing beside him – the menacing, black-cloaked figure of Darth Vader.

"Governor Tarkin," Leia hissed, contempt dripping from her voice."I should have expected to find you holding Vader's leash.I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board."

Tarkin smiled thinly at her, as if she were nothing more than an insect that needed to be squashed."Charming, to the last."He took her chin in his hand."You don't know how hard I found it signing the order to terminate your life."

Leia pulled herself from his grasp."I'm surprised you had the courage to take responsibility yourself," she shot back, words full of venom, eyes blazing with the heat of her abhorrence.

Tarkin brushed the comment aside."Princess Leia, before your execution, I would like you to be my guest of honor at a ceremony that will make this battle station operational.No star system will dare oppose the Emperor now."

Leia smiled scornfully."The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers."

"Not after we demonstrate the power of this station."He paused, taking a moment to look down at her."In a way, _you_ have determined the choice of planet that will be destroyed first.Since you are reluctant to provide us with the location of the rebel base, I have chosen to test this station…"He turned slightly, so that she could see the planet hovering outside the viewport."…on your home planet of Alderaan."

Panic and shock rolled over Leia for the first time since her capture."No!" she gasped, suddenly short of breath."Alderaan is peaceful!We have no weapons.You can't possibly…"

Tarkin moved in on her, face hard as stone."You prefer another target?A military target?Then, name the system!"he demanded, backing her up against Vader."I grow tired of asking this.So, it will be the last time.Where is the rebel base?"

Leia looked beyond Tarkin, to her planet suspended in space.The gentle greens and blues of Alderaan stood serenely, unobtrusively, against the dark sky.Without looking back at the Governor, she softly spoke the words he wanted to hear."Dantooine."Leia lowered her head in defeat."They're on Dantooine."

Tarkin backed away, clearly pleased with himself."There, you see, Lord Vader," he addressed the Sith, "I told you she could be reasonable."When Vader made no reply, Tarkin directed his words to the Death Star's weapons controller."Continue with the operation.You may fire when ready."

It took a half second to register in Leia's mind."What?" she managed to exclaim in disbelief, her face a mask of horrified alarm.Utter and complete helplessness stole over her entire body, weighing her down with invisible restraints.She felt weak, and it was all she could do to hold herself up.

"You're far too trusting," Tarkin sneered."Dantooine is too remote to make an effective demonstration.But, don't worry.We will deal with your rebel friends soon enough."

"No!" Leia whispered hoarsely, desperation choking her voice.She made a move towards Tarkin, but was stopped short by Vader's hand on her shoulder.Frozen in place, unable to fight or scream or run, Leia watched as several brilliant green lances of light leapt from deep within the station and converged in space.The single, powerful beam shot through space, reaching for her home planet.

The peaceful inhabitants of Alderaan never knew what hit them.The blast that tore the planet apart and disintegrated every form of life occurred faster than the eye could blink.Within seconds, all that was left of her world was a blazing fireball – explosions extending to the corners of space, then dying quickly in the cold, empty darkness.

***

I_n a way, YOU have determined the choice of the planet that will be destroyed first…YOU have determined the choice…YOU have determined…_

_ _

Leia pressed her hands over her ears, willing his voice to go away.Something inside of her fought back, struggling against the blame and guilt.

_NO!I will not take responsibility for the Emperor's actions.I will NOT be the murderer of Alderaan…_

And still, Tarkin's voice persisted, even from beyond the grave.

_YOU have determined the choice of the planet... YOU are responsible…_

_ _

Tears coursed down Leia's cheeks.She collapsed to her knees, head buried in her hands.Her shoulders shook with the depth of her grief, and mournful cries escaped from her throat.How could she live when her people were dead?How could she go on, knowing that innocents had suffered because of her decisions?How could she be a leader now, when those looking to her for help and guidance had been punished and destroyed?

_I'm sorry, father,_ her heart cried._I'm so sorry I failed you._

***

"Tell me all is not lost, father."Leia looked up from where she was sitting at the conference table. "Tell me that there is still hope for returning some semblance of functionality to the Senate."She stared dismally at the holoprojector, which had, only moments before, linked them both to the latest Senate meeting.

When he did not answer, Leia turned to him with pleading eyes.He was suddenly reminded of the time she had come to him as a child, begging him to make the scary sounds in the night go away.He wished with all of his heart that he could gather her up on his knee as he did then, and rock her in his arms, and tell her stories that would make all of her anxieties vanish into the darkness.But she was not a little girl anymore.Her worries were no longer those of a naïve child.

"The Senate's functionality disappeared long ago, even before the rise of Palpatine."He spoke calmly and rationally.He was not telling her anything that she did not already know."He only keeps us in office to prevent panic among the local planetary governments."

It was Leia's turn to nod.She was silent for a moment, lost in her thoughts.She knew what must be done.She knew that they had run out of options.But knowing the choice that must be made did not make the actual decision any easier."We're diplomats, father," she said finally."I was raised to avoid conflict, to solve problems peacefully.How can I become involved in a crusade that will ultimately result in the loss of many lives?"Her voice was tinged with sorrow and regret.

"So many lives have already been lost.How many more must be sacrificed before the Emperor is stopped?"Bail Organa wore such a face of unflappable calm that Leia almost felt comforted, despite the seriousness of his words.He always had been the voice of reason to her hot-blooded stubbornness.

"The Rebellion is still so small…" Leia pressed.She was testing him, curious as to what he would say in response.

Her father laughed.She turned wide eyes to him, surprised at his reaction."Ah, my dear Leia," he boomed good-naturedly, "If that had been the objection I had given _you_ when you wanted to join the Senate, would you have listened?"

Leia smiled back, and some of the tension drained from her face."I should think not!" she retorted emphatically.The fire that he was so used to seeing from her suddenly sprang into her eyes – passionate woman winning over passive politician.

Bail Organa's face grew serious once more."My dear, you know where your path lies.You know what you must do."He folded her in a warm embrace, then held her at arm's length so he could look her in the face."It's not going to be easy, Leia.The choices you make will be hard ones.There is a good chance that you and those around you will suffer.But you must always follow your heart.It may not always be the easiest choice, but your heart will never fail you."He took her in his arms once more."You know what you need to do."

"I know, father," she answered softly, her head resting lightly on his shoulder."I just needed to hear it from you."

***

He knew.Somehow, he knew.

Leia sat unmoving on the floor, allowing the memories from the past to wash over her like a warm, soothing bath.

Her father had given his blessing when she joined the Rebellion.More than that – he had subtly guided her to make the right decision, to follow her heart over her head.He knew the burdens and consequences of her decision, long before she herself had any idea.He knew, and still, he sacrificed everything, including his own life, for the chance to free the galaxy from fear and tyranny.

Leia roughly wiped the tears from her eyes and looked into the space beyond the viewport.Suddenly, she was reminded of something her father had told her long ago…

***

"Leia.Please come back to the house."  
  
She did not move from her hunched-over position on the ground.Face hidden in her arms, knees drawn up to her chest, she seemed so weak and fragile.

"Leia, it will be dark soon.Please, come back to the house with me."

She looked up at her father, cheeks wet with tears."Why, father?Why did Nana have to go?" she sobbed mournfully, distress mirrored on her 9-year-old face.

He crouched down to her level, but did not speak for several minutes.He seemed to be trying to find the right words. "Because death is a part of life, Leia," he answered at last."Everyone must experience it at one time or another."

"Everyone?" she echoed faintly, eyes full of apprehension."Even you?"

Bail nodded somberly."Yes, even me."He half expected her to burst into tears again, but to his surprise, she simply sat silently, her young mind deep in thought."Where does everyone go after they die?" she asked after a moment's contemplation.

"Leia, do you remember when I told you about the Jedi and the Force?"  
  
She nodded, the grief in her eyes momentarily brushed aside by eagerness."The Jedi were the protectors of the galaxy," she said enthusiastically."They were heroes."

"And the Force?" her father prodded.

"The Force is life.It's all around us," she answered dutifully, like a student reciting to her schoolteacher.

"That's right."He leaned in closer to her."Life surrounds us, some of which we can see, some that we cannot.Death is a transition – simply passing from the seen to the unseen."

"So, just because I can't see Nana, that doesn't mean she's not here?"She spoke slowly, then looked to him for confirmation.

Bail gathered her up on his lap."Nana will always be with you, inside of your heart."Leia rested her head on his chest as he spoke, soothed by his words and the gentle tone of his voice. "As long as you remember her, she will always be with you.Not even death can change that.Do you understand?"

***

Leia nodded her head, as she had done then.Yes, she finally understood.The death of her planet and her loved ones was cruel and horrible and unnatural.She could ask herself why and place all the blame on her own shoulders.She could wallow in regrets, consumed with could-haves and should-haves.But none of that would solve anything.Death was part of life, and part of a cycle that no one could escape.What she did with the rest of her own life – to make sure their lives were not lost in vain – was all that mattered now.

Leia stood slowly to her feet.Out there, among the stars, were thousands upon thousands of species.Species with languages, customs, ways of life sacred to them since the dawn of time.Species that would willingly lay down their lives to protect those customs.Species that would do just that, much sooner than they had ever anticipated.

  
_Not if I can help it_, Leia vowed silently.She set her shoulders in determination, one lone figure against the vast backdrop of the galaxy._Not if I can help it._


End file.
